15 Feb What is holding you back?
February is Boost your Self-Esteem Month.
Is it time to top up your levels?
Impostor syndrome, procrastination, comparing yourself to others or self-criticism. The list is long. At some point in our lives we have all experienced obstacles that set us back or prevent us from moving forward.
Challenges can always be overcome. Even if it means finding a new way to reach the desired end goal. But when your inner critic is the challenger it can be hard to ignore, hard to rise above and hard to give it a talking to. Because it’s you!
“Remember, you have been criticising yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” Louise L. Hay
Stop getting in your own way
Moving forward means getting in tune with self-belief. Finding your values. Trusting in yourself. Finding your voice in the world.
People that know me well know I have struggled with the above. I still do. Throw in a dollop of perfectionism and a colossal serving of people pleasing and voilà! A dish of limitation is served.
Big changes started for me in 2019. Once you reach the fourth decade of your life everything raises a question. It’s like time has reversed and you are a three-year old again. Why did you do that? What does it mean? How did this happen? What is my purpose?
Is it a common point in life when you realise you’ve been coasting? For some it might be earlier. For others later.
External factors will always present obstacles. But you are in control of your own thoughts, feelings and actions. No one else is to blame if things don’t work out because you have the capability to find a workaround. Unless you are living for others and putting yourself last that is. I think many business owners are guilty of this.
Put yourself first
There comes a time, especially as a business owner, when you need to put your big gal (or guy) pants on and get on with it. Make things happen. Put yourself first. Create a surplus of self-esteem.
Stopping and starting is way more time consuming and hard work! Whereas an object in motion stays in motion.
From my own personal experience, below are a few habits that I needed to stop and new habits to start.
What to stop
- Stop saying yes to people when no is the better option
- Stop being everything to everyone
- Stop making excuses not to follow your ambitions
- Stop comparing myself to others
- Stop putting things off until tomorrow
- Stop undervaluing my skills
“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.” M. Scott Peck
What to start
- Trust my gut
- Be clear about what I want in life – work and personal
- Find my true values and align with them in work and pleasure
- Practise gratitude
- Keep a daily journal
- Focus on self-care
The modern C-word has been a disrupter for many but it’s also been a time for self-reflection. A time for imagineering and visualising where we want to be.
We need self-esteem to start the journey and confidence in ability and capability to get us there.
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Create your desired state
I had a whole host of tips to share in this article until I came across a TED TALK video yesterday. This humorous and insightful talk from Patti Dobrowolski sums up the process in ten minutes.
If you need a little help to find your vision, draw your current state and your desired state. Visualise it, work on the gaps and take action.
See it. Believe it. Act on it.
Self-esteem plays an important part when finding your voice in business. If you write copy for your website, social media and other materials your uniqueness needs to shine through. Especially if you are your business.
If not you run the risk of sending mixed messages and receiving the wrong response or interest from the wrong people.
Boost your self-esteem. Identify your values. Find your voice.
Let me know what you think of the video in the comments and what tips you have to boost self-esteem ⬇️